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I haven’t posted in a second and that’s because I’ve been marinating on something that I really don’t want to share or give too much energy to but it’s kind of bothering me.  This is supposed to be my free space but you never know who’s reading and how the written word will be interpreted.  But whatever, these are my thoughts and this is my blog and I’m grown. 

Where I’m going with this is that I am very much shocked at some of the reactions that I’m getting from people who I expected the exact opposite reaction.  It’s amazing, really.  There are people who I totally did not expect to be happy for me who are like…really happy for me and really invovled and invested in sharing all of this joy.  Then…there are people who I really thought would be amped who are very…very…not and unfortunately at every opportunity very vocal about it. 

It’s just really blowing me.  I don’t want to give alot of details and I hate even writing this post but I had to get this out.  This is a very delicate situation…hell, I might even have to make this post private.  I  just want us all to be happy.  Ugh. 

On a more positive note, the love that I have been receiving from nearly everyone else has been a true blessing, very pure, and I’m holding it all close to my heart.  I’m just a big ball of thankfulness, love, and appreciation.  I extend this to all of you who read here as well, seriously.  This is beautiful and I thank you for sharing in this journey with me.


Woooohooo!  I can’t wait to try this on later.  Yup, I ordered my dress from a department store.  So far we’ve got a venue for the ceremony and the reception, my dress, Tresvant’s suit (and a tux to alter), a hotel for our guests…anything else we get at this point is just gravy.  Ha!  

Peep some other department store cuties while I jump around and try to occupy myself until I can go home and TRY ON MY DRESS!  Like any of these?  My personal favorite is E! 

A. Calvin Klein Long Cross Back Gown, $198
B. LAUNDRY BY SHELLI SEGAL Gathered Empire-Waist Silk Gown, $295
C. JS Collections Pleated Mesh Halter Gown, $198

D. BCBGMAXAZRIA Laser Cut Satin Gown, $298
E. Aidan Mattox Strapless Gown, $370
F. Tadashi One Shoulder Rosette Chiffon Gown, $398

I come from a long line of excellent bargain shoppers.  If we had a family crest, it’d be the one above.  From the thrift store to the department store, we are about our business and will always get the best bang for our bucks.  Of course this attitude trickles over to wedding planning and among the many other bugs that my mumsy, granny, and sisters are putting into my ear about where to get it for cheap, the one that I really paid attention to was…”I know where to get veils for $15.”  Oh word?  Sign me up. 

I just cannot see myself paying $100+ for some tulle and a push comb.  I can’t.  I was already envisioning making one myself by I got lazy came to my senses.  It’s only a veil, right…how bad can it be for $15?  That’s a price well worth saving my time and energy (and frustration from glueing my fingers together).  I was unable to make a trip down to my hometown to find the veil myself so I sent my trusty crew of my mumsy, my granny, and my baby sis to find this elusive $15 veil for me.  I gave them specific enough instructions- bird cage, finger tip, or blusher in ivory.  And by now they should  know me well enough to know my style of dress.   I mean it’s been 30+ years, man.

First, let’s talk about these lovely ladies.  They like to show out and are definitely about the Bling Bling.  Think of the best dressed church lady you know Aretha hat and all.  That’s my mumsy and my granny aka the Dynamic Duo.  My little sis, I’ll just call her Breanna Barnes because she is very much Kyla Pratt’s “One On One” character.  All this to say, I do not like the veil they picked at all!  I mean I could have lived with some of the detail on it but these cheesy flowers? NO!

Of course, before I saw it I told them “oh whatever you pick will be special to me because you guys picked it.” Now I would like to eat those words.  Apparently there were other veils there but they were “too plain.”  Uhm…hello!   You call *MY* style plain…it’s a perfect match, no?  I mean…I’m Calvin Klein, they’re Betsy Johnson.  I’m Chanel, they’re Karl Lagerfeld.  I’m Tyra, they’re Kimora.  I’m Big Boi, they’re Andre3000.  I’m a big jackass baby, they were just doing me a favor…lol.  I need to still sort my feelings out about this obviously. 

Being from a more lush locale, Brooklyn isn’t exactly the place that I’d think of for pretty greenery and beautiful landscaping.  Once again, I’m proven wrong and I’m cool with it.  BK is home to many gorgeous, accessible community gardens and parks tucked into the most discreet places.  Thanks to Ms. Sugarcuts (and my funky fresh dj…yay!), I bring you this Target-sponsored community garden on Bedford.  Make a visit and let me know what you think!  This would of course be for smaller ceremonies and gatherings.

*Oh if you find yourself in BK this Saturday, check out Ms. Sugarcuts on the ones and twos.

Yup, I’m still thinking about The List.  A friend mentioned free-for-all seating but I know my family and I know one thing- they need assigned seats.  I also want to make sure the dancers congregate with other dancers, that like people mix, that each of our families have a chance to mingle and don’t all congregate to opposite sides of the room.  As a shy person, assigned seats make me very, very happy.  Non-assigned seats give me nightmare flashbacks of scanning the cafeteria looking for my peoples or conference luncheons looking for any friendly face and seats without scarves and purses already in them…NO THANKS. 

I’m in love with the chalk board seating chart, this window pane is insanely beautiful, and the bright-bordered charts here are lovely….buuuuuuut I’m short on patience and time and I don’t feel like worrying about my scraggly handwriting or spending hours and mad dollars printing and designing something of my own. 

Anyway, all that to say…LOOK AT WHAT I FOUND.  For only $34 even!  A large printed poster assigned seating chart. All I have to do is type.  HOLLA!  Has anyone used Zazzle before?  Let me know.  I’m hyped.  They have other selections and colors too.  See anything you like?

I collected these above images before I had the sense enough to write down where I found them…if these are yours (or you recognize them), PLEASE LET ME KNOW and I will gladly credit them or remove them.

So I’m about to order my dress and to get the free shipping, I’m told that I need to spend about $41.20 more.  Isn’t that about a……anyway, help me pick some wedding jewelry please.  My dress is very *PLAIN* according to a few people.  According to me- it’s very classic, very sleek, and very me which is what matters.  I’m into dressing along the lines of JCrew and Calvin Klein and that won’t change much on my wedding day.  So let’s use the JCrew Silk Tricotine Anouk Gown ($695) above as the dress to use in this example.  Let’s mix and match me some jewelry, please!

A. NORDSTROM Lydell NYC Crystal Flower Drop Earrings
B. NORDSTROM Stein & Blye Triangle Stone Earrings
C. LORD & TAYLOR Textured Link Drop Earrings (I had to throw these in and don’t forget the 25% off sale!)
D. NORDSTROM Lydell NYC Multi Flower Cuff in Blush
E. NORDSTROM Sequin Metallic Multi Row Cuff
F. NORDSTROM Lydell NYC Multi Flower Cuff in Ivory

Now if I really had my way, I’d get these ones below…A, maybe B, and about four of C!  I must behave though.  I’m really wanna say eff it and get this bag but I’mma go ahead and put on my big girl pants and chill.

A. NORDSTROM Sequin Hinged Enamel Bangle
B. NORDSTROM Kate Spade ‘All Wrapped Up’ Bangle
C.  NORDSTROM Nadri Crystal Stud Bangle


I am a stan for DVF.  I mean she invented wrap dresses and I pretty much live in wrap dresses.  She’s a stylish, classic lady and I dream of being as fly and non-plussed as her sooner than I think in a few decades.   Anyway, this dress doesn’t look to be on sale anywhere anymore except for this one size 10 that I found on ebay.  It sparkles, it’s  a wrap, it’s bowed…what else can a girl ask for?  Oh about $900+ to blow on her dress.  If I had more time, I’d seriously save all of my lunch money to buy this dress.   My dress is fly though too so let me stop but this is calling me like Pookie to a crack rock.


When we initially began planning our wedding, Mr. Tresvant* and I happened upon a small and beautiful community garden.  We sat there and soaked it in, took pictures and video clips, and envisioned our intimate garden wedding full of butterflies, chirping birds, trellises and gazebos, sunshine, and oh…say fifty of our closest family and friends.  Even the name of the garden was inspiring- the Garden of Hope was *the* spot for us!  Shortly after that we began composing our lists of special guests and we *EACH* had over fifty and counting.  Goodbye small wedding, hello big family affair!   I don’t even know what we were thinking because only one orbit out of our immediate families was definitely over fifty.  If you are in Brooklyn though, our dreamy-haze wedding can be yours.  The site fee is only $45.  Think about it.  If you do it, please send me a picture to drool over.  

Don’t fret for us though because we will have our garden wedding and 100 (and counting?) of our closest friends and family to celebrate with us.   The only problem is that my list alone has over 100 people on it.  This has got to be one of the hardest parts of planning a wedding.  Every day I look at this list and beat myself up thinking about who can come, who I should invite, who would be upset with me, who should get to bring a date, and it’s driving me crazy! 

Let me also add that my very excited sister is throwing me a bridal shower and needs to send out invites soon but I cannot give her names yet.  If you’re invited to the shower, you have to be invited to the wedding and right now, I can’t even say who is invited.  Oh gosh, this post is taking a tone that I don’t want it to take but this really is something that’s weighing heavily on my mind right now and this blog is my dumping ground. 

This isn’t the greatest first post…lol…I could definitely use some advice though.  How did you tackle your list?

*That’s my boo’s new blog name…ya like it?  We can stand the rain, he’s got sensitivity, he’s a stone cold gentleman with rizz wa faire, we’re lost in love planning our once in a lifetime groove and it’s going down!  FYI, I’m mad corny…get used to this if you plan on sticking around.


That there Bourne Tiffany Studded Stiletto Sandal in Pewter above is my dream shoe.  When I come back to reality I realize that spikey heels and grass are not really friends.  Yes, the half-secure venue is a beautiful garden and I will be walking down a very long, grassy aisle (YIKES!) to get to my baby.  I’m already clumsy by nature so I cannot compound that with shoes that will sink into the ground…lol. 

Today, I’m thinking wedges would do it?  Tomorrow, we can talk about the flats of it all.  Any other suggestions, though?  My dress is very grecian-inspired. In the meantime enjoy some wedding wedges and take a gander at the Lord And Taylor 25% off Friends and Family Sale when you’re done!


A. FRANCO SARTO “Grape” Perforated Wedges, $42
B. STEVE MADDEN Chainge Chain-Link Leather Wedge Sandals, $70
C. NINE WEST Tribal Snake-Embossed Platform Wedge Sandals, $60
D. DKNYC “Rosalia” Rosette T-Strap Wedge Sandals, $109

Take an *EXTRA* 25% off of all of these, of course using code FRIENDS.

From the fabulous Etsy, check out these darling French Oui or Non Earrings from Pomp And Plumage.  So adorable!