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Over three decades ago, two different couples started a family and welcomed into their families two little bundles of joy.  Everything aligned and God saw fit that over three decades later that these two bundles of joy would come together, fall in love, and start their own family.  Unfortunately, everything UNaligned for the the bundles of joys’ respective parents and now well…. I’m not sure they can even be “cordial, at best” to one another let alone the new wives that have joined the family.  I know we all saw War of the Roses, right?  I’m getting married in a garden but I for damned sure don’t want OUR roses to get to swinging on chandeliers and shutting the whole party down. 

Being the child of divorce is difficult enough.  Being a child of divorce planning a wedding is on a whoooooooooooole ‘nother level.  There is a delicate balance in managing relationships with your divorced parents especially if the divorce wasn’t exactly amicable.  Tresvant and my’s parents are definitely way far away from amicable.  I’ve been thinking that with so many people there our parents wouldn’t even have to acknowledge each other but really…even with my rose-colored glasses on…I am worried.  Loving both of your parents and wanting not to hurt or offend either of them really comes to a head on holidays, graduations, celebrations, and most especially weddings.  Is there anyone out there who feels me?  I just got off the phone with both of my parents and I feel horrible right now.  I should just change the name of this depressing ass blog to I Hate Wedding Planning.   WTF.

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First, thanks to all who offered kind words in the midst of my breakdown.  I appreciate and used the advice given.  The first phone call was really hard to do but after that it got alot easier.  That is good because the extra guests keep rolling right on in.  *insert confused face*  Anyway, let’s focus on the positive…ETSY IS THE BOMB!

If you don’t know about Etsy you should really click on over there.  They have any and everything there from handmade to thrifted.  It’s a creative paradise much like an online Craft Fair.  I don’t have the time or patience to be DIYing anything so it’s definitely been a great place for me!  I also don’t like cookie cutter things and you really won’t find much of it there.  

First, I got Tresvant’s ring there.  You wouldn’t believe how hard it is to find a plain, unadorned wedding band for a guy that’s not yellow gold or with beveled edges or celtic crosses or diamonds or whatever extra stuff my boo is just not interested in.  After we I got tired of searching high and low in brick-and-mortars, I finally just hipped him to Etsy and let him search til his heart desired.  In five minutes flat he found it.  Of course, I had to be sure he was sure so I stretched it to thirty…LOL.  Anyway, the ring came in like a week later, made by the lovely studiometalsmith who believes in simplicity and quality.  I even got it stamped with a message on the inside and the ring came in less than a week!  Peep its perfect plain-ness!  LOL.  Anyone else love Etsy?

Uhm, I’m about to have a breakdown.  I’m teetering on the edge of tears as I type this ((I cried, man…I’m so aggravated)).  Since I’m at work this is just not possible so typing here will hopefully help me.  Y’all saw the tacky invitations.  Apparently I know more tacky people than I thought.  Please tell me why I keep getting RSVPs with people talking about UNINVITED dates and plus ones.  I can’t take this and I’m starting to get really frustrated.  Can people read?  Have people never attended an event before?  Is everyone just fucking insane and unware of COURTESY AND ETIQUETTE and MY ALREADY BIGGER THAN I WANTED WEDDING???????????????????????  I’m going to take a time out and go for a walk.  Breathe in, breathe out.

***I just came back from my little crying walk and as I was walking someone  calls me livid that his/her toddler can’t come to the wedding.  S/he threatened not to come now.  Really, people?   Is anyone dealing with this?  I’m am so sick of this crap.

I’m getting married in 45 days, man.  45 days.  I’m going to try to blog them all including the highs and the lows.  Welcome to 45 days and Running.  At this point, I’m starting to care less and less about the little things and focus on the fact that I’m so excited and so blessed to be marrying such a wonderful guy and having my family and his family with us 100%.  Some days my faith in finding my match was as small as a mustard seed…but here we are today and it’s awesome! 

Also, happy anniversary to a lovely, vibrant couple and it may be slightly overused but it’s great when it’s used and it’s true and it shines through…MARRYING YOUR BEST FRIEND is pretty damned dope.  Celebrate!  Their wedding is beautiful and definitely inspirational.  Oh, her blog is beyond dope.  She’s crafty and a definite decor diva.   Her last post on Cohabiting With Grace made me chuckle and I think I will be refering back to it in the VERY, VERY near future.

Anyway, yes that is my fortune.  Opened after a filling lunch with my Mums, Baby Sis, and Tresvant…and it’s already true.

Ah so, yesterday I went on a little field trip to Michaels.  I was looking for items to jazz up my invitations a bit with belly bands and maybe some other frill.  How about it turned into a two hour deliberation fest!   I went down every single aisle at least twice.  I walk a fine line between classic and kitsch and yesterday I’m very sure I nearly crossed over to kitsch.  After being talked away from extra bright floral paper for belly bands by Tresvant, I ended up with some nice 65lb weight paper in a hot pink that matched the accents on our invite.  Then I went a lil cuckoo and just had to buy a decorative punch because I obviously think I have way more time than I do to get these invites out…lol!  Here’s my cart at Michaels though.  Notice the flower…guess who decided to make herself a lil frill for her hair?!  I also picked up a great mason jar because I’m about to go mason jar crazy on my reception tables. 

Anyway, today I spent my lunch break cutting up my belly bands and punching out some frill.  I’m so super excited about how great this is all going to looked and maybe a little too self-satisfied. 

Take a look at my test run.  Isn’t this beautiful from the front?  Well take a look at the back?  FAIL!   I can’t even be mad…looks like I’m either going to just belly band the RSVP card/envelope or scrap this whole retarded project.  LALALALALALA.  It’s less than 60 days til my wedding yall!  :0(

Let’s end on a positive note though…here’s my easy peasy possible hair flower.  All I did was pick a frilly flower that I liked, take it apart and glue it back together without using the filler so it’d be flat.  I added a some beading I already had at home (most likely will make it more ornate) and then glued it to the comb.  The glue that I used wasn’t the best, I’m going to have to reglue the comb but again…positivity…here’s my hair flower (maybe).   I know I can’t be the only one to have Project FAILs all over the place…I hope. 

I saved these pictures from when I saw this online Essence article about the wedding of Essence Atkins.  I loved what she and her husband had to say and I found the article very inspirational.   And plus she is looking great!  Anyway, look at her face…now that is an assured and satisfied (and gorgeous) woman.  Those are the looks that I plan to wear in addition to my big cheesy smile on my Big Day. 

If you have any pictures of any other Good And Grown Brides (YOU INCLUDED), let me know.  We should all be showing off!

So I’ve been co-planning a baby girl shower that finally went down this weekend.  I’ve been obsessing with candy buffets for months and finally mine came to fruition.  I would’ve loved to do more with it and to it but I think this is pretty darned cute.  I should’ve took an after picture because that candy buffet got mauled!  Everyone loved it including the very beautiful mommy-to-be.  My sister co-planned with me and her creativity truly surpasses mine.  Peep the cake she made below.  She also made the lollipops at the bottom of the buffet picture, the table decor, favors, and more.  All in all the decor was pretty rocking, folks!  And I’m sure Tresvant is glad that I’m done talking his head off about pink and green candy and vases. 

I was thinking it was over and cliched by now but apparently that’s only the case in Blog World because everyone was so tickled by the idea of the buffet.   Anyway, I definitely want a candy buffet now.   I was losing sleep about the candy because the shipping cost nearly as much as the candy ordering online.  If there’s a local candy store or warehouse in your hood, go check them out because I got better or the same prices going to a brick and mortar.  Anyone else doing a candy buffet?

I’ve been stalking to mail man for like a week and FINALLY my invites have arrived!  Yitidee!!!!  Here’s a lil peak…I want Tresvant to see them at least first…lol.  I ordered these from Zazzle when they recently had a 30% off sale.  Tresvant made the decisions here mainly because I couldn’t decide and he’s the graphic designer, not me.  LOL!    Be sure to always check their sale page for discounts.

After seeing TIH’s response card, I just ordered some new ones to deal with those special guests who think your wedding is a chance to invite their own guests as well…NOT!  Also, although we put “sorry, kids” on the website we did not put it on the official invite, so I added that to the card as well.  I find this slightly tacky but sometimes all formality must fly out of the window and this is most definitely one of those times :0). 

You will see me blogging more because dude…I’m getting married in like 60 days!  Yikes!  I have so much to do.  So far I have a venue, caterer, outfits for me and my boo so we will at least be able to look good and eat.  What else matters?  HA!

Yup, still veil searching and almost desperate enough to make my own.  Okay, I’m kidding because I really don’t feel like it.  But I am in love with this Sara Gabriel Drew veil .  It most likely can’t work with my dress and it looks very expensive?  Y’all should check her out though.  Do you have your veil already?  Am I the only one having a hard time narrowing it down?

A few weeks ago, a wedding blog that I enjoy (look on the side for the (Formerly) Unemployed Bride) had a flurry of commentary on the very controversial topic of kids at weddings just as I was trying to make that decision for myself.  My comments from that blog and another blog inspired by that discussion are as follows:

“im so going through this right now. if i let all of the children of invited guests come i will have 39 kids, 13 teens, and 6 babies at my wedding. i thought of hiring someone i know who is a child care professional and maybe a colleague or two of hers to watch the kids in a separate yet adjoined area with some activities. the thought of even planning that out is way too much for me right now though. anyway, what *YOU* want is what goes…period.”

“i definitely understand that black children need to see more weddings in our community but planning a wedding is no picnic and trying to find things to entertain another group of people may just not be the bride and groom’s cup of tea. i love children and all of the children in my life are very important to me as is family and community but the thought of planning baby sitters and activities for 39 kids, 13 teens, and 6 babies is more than i can bear at the moment. i keep waffling but right now…unless they are in the wedding…you’re gonna have to stay home- and there are abt 8 kids in the wedding ((yes im crazy)).”

“i also think that most times weddings are not fair to kids. they cant touch anything, they have to sit still and be quiet, they cant play…there are really just too many cants going on. so unless i can provide some entertainment for them, i’m doing us all a favor and having them stay home and play the video games they’d rather play in the first place.”

I understand both sides of the argument and I never thought I’d have to make this decision but I’m not gonna be able to do it!  I contemplated having a special area for kid activities with official Fun Specialists on hand with a kid-friendly menu but when I started breaking it down my pockets and my mind got tired and I just had to scrap it.  I love kids, I’m the fun and crazy auntie/godmommy/cousin who plans kid road trips and vacations every summer, I baby/kid sit often, hell- my wedding is going to have like eight kids in it!  All that extra stuff though, no.  I can’t.  I still love you, pumpkin pookies though. 

Now that I’ve made the decision, the fun part comes.  I have to let everyone else know.  I just did my invites and reaaaaaaaaaaaally could not figure out the best way to do this.  I know I can’t put it on the actual invite, so we now have a wedding website to convey that message along with hotel info, directions, etc so it doesn’t look lonely….lol.  I’ve learned that a friend recently received an invite with NO KIDS on it and I wish, but I’m not that bold but I am firm in my decision.  And today, as I look at my to do list…I’ll say I’m happy with that decision.  I think…ugh.